it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
