so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
