Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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