that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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