Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
