when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
