I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
