I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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