I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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