I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
sex in a hospital.. check
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
