Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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