In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
