I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
