You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
