wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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