The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What a dumb baby whore.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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