That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
