So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
