sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
