I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize