Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
