do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
