i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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