put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
