I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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