Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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