In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
