I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
