Small penises have feelings too.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
