if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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