I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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