there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
