Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
