I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
