I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize