It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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