Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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