She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
last night I used snow as a chaser
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
