How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
