some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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