trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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