David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
