i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
