Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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