I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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