Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
