what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Randomize
