Sry I called you an 8
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She's JV to your varsity
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
