I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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