Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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