my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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