i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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