Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize