someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
