Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
