never play flip cup with pint glasses
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
