dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
