Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
