I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize