she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize