He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
