i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
