well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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