i can't believe i had my finger in that
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
